Raising strong kids is vital, but more important than strong kids is strong parents! Wouldn’t it be great to see a rise in parents unafraid to stand up to their children?
Often at the end of a day, I sit in exhaustion from simply interacting with my two children, both teens. Today’s technically savvy kids are often stronger willed, thus confronting parents with a personal crisis of measuring their own strength on a daily basis.
Just this week I gave into something my daughter wanted to do simply out of surrender. I was tired. It was easier to give in. And I did. Sometimes the easy route can simply offer an escape from dealing with the emotion that comes along with saying no.
No harm was done, thankfully, and all turned out well. But there are times when a tired decision can bring about dangerous results. That time the weak mom overruled the strong one, but at the end of the day, my lesson was well learned.
Which mom am I? The bad news is that can change. Often, I’m strong and courageous. At other times, I’m weak and get trampled on. The lesson is this. If I’m unsure which mom I am at any given time, I’ve surrendered the battle and my kids rule. Inconsistent parents raise inconsistent children who are unsure of the boundaries.
What mom will I be today? Will I learn from recognizing my weakness? To better prepare, here are a few questions that may require consideration:
- Who is in charge today, the parents or the kids?
- Kids want immediate answers, but will I take the time I need to make sound decisions? Kids should not pressure parents into making quick decisions. “If I have to tell you now, the answer is no.”
- Will I argue? Often the conversation is lost in stressful dialogue. Can I make a decision and move on? Parents and children should not argue, that is a sign the child has not accepted your answer. Just repeat, “My decision is final and I will not argue with you.”
- Will I implement discipline? If a child is rude with a phone, am I willing to
take that phone? We must be willing to take something of value for the end
goal, a child who respects what they have and those in authority over them.
Children learn strength from those who demonstrate strength. If we want to raise stronger children, we must be stronger parents. We must be willing to make right decisions, even when our children disagree.
Being aware of my own weakness helps me re-focus. I love my children, they are great kids. But love is not enough. They need a mom who is willing to be stand up to them and for them. Today, I will rise and be strong mom for my family. How about you?