The Art of Picking People
People-watching is grossly underrated. So much can be learned from observing others; especially when done introspectively.
Recently I met a group of women for dinner and a movie. As we sat in the restaurant, I scanned the room to notice who was around. All the tables were full, thus people watching was easy.
At the table beside us was a man, presumably a father and two small children who appeared early elementary-school aged. The younger one, a little girl, was bouncy and excited, and wanted her dad’s attention. He was scanning his smart phone, totally distracted. After a few moments, the girl took the drastic measure of inserting her cute little face in between the man and his phone. She was relentless! That little girl was going to win the battle for her dad’s attention.
Ouch. In my amusement I chuckled at the girl’s tenacity, yet the lesson was obvious. If you are going to be there, then be there. This is a common trap for most, as we are e-connected continuously. While phones can increase productivity, they can wreak havoc in everyday communication. For most, this constant invasion of intimacy can be quite offensive and erode relationships greatly over time.
We are in the business of people no matter our career choice; at work, at home, and beyond. The measure of our happiness is likely linked to the success of our relationships. Thus as trends change, we must acknowledge that some things always ring true.
Pick people to be the focus of your attention! If you are with them, then you have made a choice to spend time with them. While other things require your attention, nothing is more important than the people you have picked and the people who have picked you. Practice the art of making others feel important.
Listen to what others have to say. Fight the urge to speak while they are speaking. Maintain eye contact and be quiet! Now with smart phones people have better e-contact than eye contact, not good. Don’t be disrespectful. Practice the art of listening with your eyes and ears.
Pick You Too! Love your neighbor as your self means you can love yourself too. Take time to reflect; success, failure, people, goals, accomplishments, disappointments. Many of life’s greatest lessons are found in experience. Just like you treat others with value, do the same for yourself. Take the time you need to be your best you. Learn and grow introspectively. Practice the art of silence and listen to your inner dialogue. Give yourself a voice and be heard.
The most important aspect of great relationships is the ability to communicate and understand others. While it’s simple, it’s far from easy. But it can be done, it’s all about the choices we make.
This weekend, pick people. They are worth it. You are worth it.