That was then, this is now.
For years my climb up the corporate ladder was slow but steady. Eventually my work ethic and good attitude were the tools that gave me the leverage to succeed. Added to that over the years was the experience needed to understand things like quarterly reports, profit and loss statements, and budgets. Not to mention twelve hour work days that left little room for personal disciplines.
After getting married and having children, I kept working but part time. Having become a Christian later in life, my faith was growing with my family life. Becoming a new person was a slow process, as my independent mentalities were stubborn and would not seem to loosen their grip.
Now that my kids are practically adults, I’m back to working full time. Starting a business is exciting, but being my own boss is difficult as it seems I’m harder on myself than any boss ever was! So…. I’m having to learn to balance things in a whole new way. God’s way.
Working around the clock is not an option. My family, well they are keepers, so keeping them is paramount. Working out for me is a form of therapy, so that has to factor in. And then, there is time to be quiet. That, that is my struggle. This season has revealed things in me that need His peace and comfort.
Busy is my safety net. I can get stuff done. Give me a list and I’m on it. I’m OK with hard work, being independent early in life taught me self sufficiency. Now I’m learning to be more God-sufficient. And it’s hard!
How does one fiercely independent now run a business patiently dependent? I’m used to results. Reports. Numbers. Promotions. Titles. Performance.
Now faith must become my sight. I have to remind myself that God is with me, ahead of me, and guiding me. God is for me! It’s important to work hard, but equally important to trust hard.
Old patterns die hard. But they must die. While there is nothing wrong with hard work, when that is all you have, that is all you have. I can’t do anything worth doing apart from God. Therefore, new disciplines must become personal habits.
I’ll work. I’ll pray, I’ll read my Bible and listen to wise people. I’ll work out too, and I’ll cook and enjoy meals with my family. But at the end of the day, I hope I can say I’ve trusted God and not myself.
Performance vs. dependance. Only one wins. Today’s pick of the day.