Personal Pits, and how to avoid them. Today’s pick of the day.


For two nights in a row, we’ve had a bird sleep over. Oops. It must have flown in when one of the doors to our courtyard was open. It’s no real surprise as we often hear them try to fly in, hit the window, and usually fly away startled by the abrupt barrier.

Once in, it could not get out. When we realized he was trapped, it was evening and decided to wait until morning so we could open the doors and shoo him out when there was light. Seemed OK till the next morning when he started chirping around 5am. I’m pretty sure he was looking for a little help from his birdie friends, but his chirps only reached our room where we were rudely awakened by the early cries.

The next morning, I opened the doors and thought he flew out. He did not. I know that because the next evening was a lot like the first. Frantic bird, flying from light to picture to bench to window. Poor guy just couldn’t find freedom. Once again, we decided to wait until sunrise, his own chirping my alarm clock as the next morning I watched him fly away.  Finally, he was free.

If I could speak bird, I wonder if he told his friends, “quit trying to get in there, it’s not what we thought, I was trapped!” But since I don’t I can only wonder. One thing is for sure, once  in, all he wanted was out.

Recently I was having a conversation with a young friend. We were discussing why he had been grounded by his parents. The reason was that he had been disobedient. He was upset. As a mom of two teens, I can relate, so I told him the best advice I had to offer.

“You had a great deal of freedom, that which your parents felt appropriate. You were able to come and go within reasonable limits. But you did not think that was enough, so you took more than had been given by not honoring the boundaries, therefore you lost it all.” Consequences. Hindsight is 20/20. My young friend now wishes for the very freedom he lost.

Personal pits are the worst. I’ve been in many. Some of my own doing, many inflicted by others.  One thing is for sure, some can be avoided.

Freedom? You really don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Our world values taking what you want. Be a go getter, right?  Not enough money? Go in debt. Not happy with your spouse? Take someone else’s. Can’t cope with life? Take this or drink that. People are selling the easy way out, others are paying the painful price by finding themselves in an ugly personal pit.

Living within the boundaries of what IS is much wiser than living within the boundaries of what we WISH. That is what we work towards, not take.

Turns out I do speak bird. “It’s not what we thought….. I want out…… where am I and how did I get here……can I go back?” The grass is not greener the other side, but where it is watered and fertilized. Freedom comes in being happy with what you have, no longer craving what you don’t have. It’s a learned skill, and over time practice makes it easier.

Every decision means something. It points, directs, and paves the way for a specific direction. Make no assumptions. Take nothing or no one for granted. Accept where you are, respecting boundaries and working towards what you want.

Personal Pits? No thanks. I’ll do my best to avoid those.  Today’s pick of the day.


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