Feelings have no IQ! Feelings have no IQ!
Often in the midst of turmoil, I have to remind myself of this over and over.
From a counselor I learned that I have a right to my feelings. They belong to me. Thus they have their place in who I am and how I process life.
However as a Christian I learned that the heart is deceitful above all else. Which means my heart- my feelings– can deceive me when it comes to making decisions. Yikes!
As a wife and mom I must balance both facts and feelings in order to make good decisions on behalf of my family. My family of origin had serious problems we could not fix. A broken marriage, problems with fidelity, numerous remarriages, abuse of alcohol, and misinterpreting Scripture to name a few. Because we didn’t know how to fix them, we learned to pretend nothing was wrong.
Yet years later those haunting feelings resurface when my current family faces problems. It’s tempting to try to pray them away, ignore them, or hope they “work themselves out.” But that is my heart lying to me. Problems are indicators that determine what needs to be addressed.
All families have problems, but not all families address problems. Often because we don’t know what to do, we do nothing. Therefore, feelings fester, keep us angry and frustrated, causing relationships to deteriorate. All because the red flags that came in as helpful indicators were not seen as tools but became fertilizer for pain.
Don’t pretend. You have problems. I have problems. That makes us normal people living in normal families. My goal is to face reality to deal with our issues head on. It’s not easy, nor am I necessarily good at it. But at least I’ve learned the cost of pretending is far worse than the cost of momentary discomfort.
Feelings have no IQ. They do not consider facts. Yet you can balance to two, your heart and your head, and reach solutions that enable you to better navigate key relationships. Then you live in reality with no need to pretend, because you have valued your self enough to be face issues that will no longer hold you back.
Pretending? No need. Be real by facing facts and feelings for all the right reasons. Today’s pick of the day.